Use This Tool to Manage Fear of Public Speaking & More
When I asked several peers to share their biggest life and career challenges, one common statement came up: “I want to… but…”
I want to present my project to colleagues, but I’m too nervous that I’ll screw it up. I’ll stay behind the scenes instead.
I want to ask for a promotion at work, but I don’t think I’m ready. I’ll probably be told no.
I want to start my own business, but what if it doesn’t work out.
I want to buy a house someday, but I’ll never be able to save that much.
I want to take a vacation, but there’s just too much to do at home and at work. Everything will fall apart if I take time off.
I’ve been guilty of thinking a few of these statements myself. In the past, I’ve let my unintentional, habitual thoughts take over. This was quickly followed by frustration.
It was when I started using one simple acronym that seemingly unsurmountable roadblocks and barriers began to slowly disappear. Challenges were suddenly not only manageable, but exciting, and success became inevitable.
Ready to see the same happen for you? Grab a pen and write down: S T E E R
For the purpose of this exercise, I'll use a money example. (I know this isn’t public speaking related, but it’s something almost everyone can relate to.) Let’s say you have $10k saved and your goal is to save $25k.
S T E E R
S - What is the situation you're in? In this example, it would be: I have $10k.
Situations are always neutral and factual. In order to truly neutralize your situation, step away from your emotions and thoughts for a moment. Avoid qualifiers and statements like, “I only have $10k.” Instead, it’s simply: I have $10k.
T - What thought does that bring into your mind? Example: I'm so far away from my goal. I'll never save $25k.
E - What emotion does that make you feel? It could be: Scarcity and depression.
E - What’s the effect? In other words, what action do you take as a result of your thought and emotion? Avoid doing the work to save money because it’s too challenging. Disregard the work you did to get to $10k.
R - What's the result? You don't save $25k.
Your belief is one of the most important pieces in getting the results you want. Beliefs are thoughts you think over and over again, and our beliefs determine the direction of our actions and results.
On the other hand, the same situation for the $10k example could go like this...
Situation - I have $10k.
Thought - I'm almost half way to my goal.
Emotion - Sufficiency. $10,000 is more than $1,000.
Effect - Commit to a plan to save and hit your $25k goal.
Result - Save $25k.
Two people can have entirely different emotions and thoughts about the same exact situation, which create different beliefs, actions and, ultimately, different results. The next time you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by your situation or frustrated with your results, take a step back and STEER.